why are you such a wonderful person?

I need someone to talk to but theres no one.

im worry about the things is happening around me, perhaps this is the only place that i confront to. dad just had an operation again on this stomach problem now in recovering state and mommy recently had asthma relapse which made me worried for her. the last time her relapse was when i was in primary 4 and that she had to go to the hospital to stay over. i really wish this will not happen again. im worried.

my own personal trouble is at my job i really need to move on from here to the new site but till now there is no response from them except from the news from my 'intell'. hopefully the news from my intell will be accurate.

i realise you didn't want me to bother you anymore.

lies

I realize what I do are all lies to you

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you never understand.
i trying to make a balance between friends and you but your behavior is getting more and more ridiculous.
all you think is about I'm lying.
if i don't bother why would i even say sorry in the first place.

closed

blog closed.

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reflected. i was selfish.

you were the pillar of my support. you did everything for me. you make me feel like the top of the world but I crash my whole with a meteor. killing everything thing that I ever love. I wanted to get things back to normal but time didn't wait for me. I realize time was passing day by day but I realize it too late. if I could speed time up or even bring back time I really will make it up to you. I'm sorry for the pain I bought you, I'm sorry for all the miseries I bought you, Im truly sorry.

day two

unfair for u

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mood

no mood for anything

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habit?

she felt she wasn't 1st anymore. I myself can't take it much more. not contacting each other help? somehow it's driving me nuts I just can't figure out whether is it a habit or otherwise. I hate my sleepless nights.

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feelings

how much more can I take

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didn't we say we have to take things slowly? flaring up at me won't make me feel any better. It will only push me further and further away, at times you really don't understand how I felt. sometimes you just felt that you were always correct. Deep down inside me, i just need some freedom, deep down inside me i was never happy and lastly deep down inside me there was the 1 reason. Control will only make me more rebellious.