over a remote

we shout at each other over a remote control.. but perhaps have you really wonder why i completely loose my cool?

I know you are very exhausted due to the lack of sleep, giving up the thought of having what to eat, the chance to shower.. etc..

i want to tell u, i am very tired but i cant find the chance to really talk to you.
honestly i have no one else to talk to; i never share with anyone how's life or how's work.
I don't like to talk to anyone about our problems because I don't want anyone to judge you.
It is always kept within me and no one else.
I don't know if you are also having the same issues.

I miss the days we just talk to each other.

too many things to say but the words just cant come to my mind right now.

finally came home after 3 days in KL. Woke up to have a extreme sharp pain in my collar bone. but when i told you about my pain the response i gotten was 无动于衷. I told you again after an hr or so but u jus didnt care. when i was making mimi slp the pain got worsen. still no responses at all. i decided to jus leave the house and go to the hospital to check. I left without a word cos that was how I felt. you just kept msging anger msgs and everything revolved around you. its been 1 day and u have shown zero concern to me. this is a shitty feeling, despite trying to come home as early as possible and I know I will be tired. yet I came home feeling alone.
im having very very negative tots right. yet i cant be selfish cos i need to support my wife and 2 daughters.

recently we been arguing and quarrelling more than usual. I don't really know if I should be writing in my blog. You don't feel my love anymore even though i am putting in effort. You say that perhaps is just about responsibility and that there is no more love between us.

Do you realise how much effort I have been putting throughout all these years? Just a simple comment from you make me feel so small.

Even you can pick up a fight with over me helping my friend in his proposal. I told you I am the 1 who is willing to help. Perhaps you don't know how it feels to be honoured to help your best friend for his proposal.

forget it...

You just told me that you despite me cause im not earning as much as you are. I realized you have been repeatedly saying this for so many years. Now it finally have dawn on to me. I am more financially stabled then you are, I can drive my own car, I dont need to endanger my life and naomi life in your car.

I don't know where to go now.
I feel useless and hopeless.
 Perhaps I shouldn't have step into your world.

I dont feel going home anymore.

Perhaps i should just leave since im burden to everybody

Just shut up rico tan you have no fucking rights to open your mouth.